Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
