That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
