last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
