did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
now i know why i became what i already was.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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