Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
