that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
