I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
