I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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