The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize