Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
