I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You can't special order awesome
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
