I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
