recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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