If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
