it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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