I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
