I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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