How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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