If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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