I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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