he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
