I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
