haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize