Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
