My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
