so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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