So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Alive.
So much puke
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
