Apparently you make a good broom.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
