Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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