ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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