i was rollin on her like bob the builder
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
