my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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