that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
