i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
