we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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