someone get that fucking seahorse.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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