Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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