brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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