I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
