You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize