And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize