My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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