this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
