Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
