You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
40s are totally the cure
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
