I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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