i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
