You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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