Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize