I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
