Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize