well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
