What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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