I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
