Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
