I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Green mimosas i think yes
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
