I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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