if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize