I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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