i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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