My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
