No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
