there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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