i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
