it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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