I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize