Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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