4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I've blown a few things in my day
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
