Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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