i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
