the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize