my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
