I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
